Life of software engineer: Year 3011

Life of software engineer: Year 3011
By Jayaprakash [JP]
[Disclaimer: This story is purely a fictional creation, imagination of the author alone, any resemblance to living, dead or future is purely co-incidental and author does not take any responsibility for it]

Here goes the story….

International dating system, today’s date: 13th Dec 3010

I opened my eyes, it was pitch black, and my eyes were straining to pierce through the blackness. I was hit by terrible pain, but was not knowing from where, as I was re-gaining my senses, my body was reacting to messages from the brain and pain appeared to be coming from my head, my feet, my entire body ached, as the pain increased, it was getting unbearable. I touched my head and could sense a blood clot and a lump. I tried to stand, my feet could not support me, and I cried with pain...oh my toes. Guess I must have fractured my toes. I slowly stood up holding the slippery walls.
I pulled out my pocket maglite torch and switched on the light, the powerful beam revealed some kind of cavern, scared I flashed the torch all around me. Where am I?
It came back to me frame after frame, like a computer re-starting, as my brain organized its memory map bit by bit. I last remembered dropping into a deep pit, I was trapped 13 km below the surface of where?

[Flashback, 2hrs back]
I was trekking with five of my colleagues on the Aitken basin on the south pole of the moon. It is supposed to be 13kms deep and around 2500kms in diameter. It is the largest, oldest and deepest basin recognized on the Moon. It is one of the largest known impact craters in the entire Solar System...
While we were trekking, we had come across a pack of vellores. Vellores are known to be most ferocious breed of creatures, they are known to be most powerful animals and belong to the diverse variety of bioluminescent species hexapodal animals known to inhabit the crater.
They came after us in a pack, they were ten in number. We turned and ran across the exotic flora grazing the crater. We split and ran in different directions. The vellores split and chased each of us in pairs. I ran across the basin floor, stamping, trampling all types of flora and fauna. I ran for my life.
Suddenly the ground below me gave away and I was sliding into a deep valley, I was rolling down the slope towards the bottom of the valley. As I was rolling, I was trying to hold on to something, but I was rolling at such a great speed that before I could hold on to something, I used to slip and kept rolling, the dampness of the forest floor, made it more difficult and I was skidding, sliding at increasing speed, the ferocious vellores were running behind and gaining on me. After 10mins, I hit the bottom of the valley. As I rolled, I had got entwined with all kinds’ of loose roots, creepers, leaves from the trees, climbers along the way. I could not get up. I was sprawled on the ground.
The two vellores were approaching me from either side…I could see their fierce green eyes, sharp fangs, sticky green saliva dripping from their tongues hanging outside their mouths, their bioluminescent body made it all the more menacing, they were taking one step at a time, growling with a strange scary noise from their diaphragms. I was trying helplessly to release myself, trying to wriggle out, but my arms, legs were entangled in an impossible angle, the wetness of ground, dampness of the leaves, creepers made it more difficult, death seemed to be evitable, I was trapped. I was going to die, on bottom of largest crater on the moon.
The vellores pounced, with their outstretched powerful paws, just when their fangs could get the taste of my human flesh, ground below me gave away. I was falling into some kind of deep pit. I glanced up just in time to see the two vellores jump and crash for a head on collision and they were falling into the pit behind me. All three of us seemed to falling into an infinite pit, the walls of the pit whizzed past me. After some time, which seems to be like eternity, I landed on to the bottom of the pit. After few seconds, I heard two more loud thuds, which was the last sound I could remember hearing, after which I must have lost my consciousness.
Now when my consciousness was returning back, the pain also came back in spasms. I flashed my torch around me again and found those vellores lying 10 feet away from me. I limped across to them slowly and poked them with a stick. They seemed to be dead and I could see the blood clotted across their bodies dry for a long time. I must have lost my consciousness roughly for 6hrs.
I flashed my light upwards of the pit, the light could not reach to mouth of the pit, seemed like I must have dropped at least, how many feet? Had no idea…..my drop must have got slowed down by the tree branches, climbers , creepers, roots hanging out all along the pit walls, leaving me alive with probably just a broken toe and injured head.
I limped back to where I had fallen and searched for my backpack. I found it lying 3 feet away from where I had fallen. I opened the backpack spilled the contents out. I had one z-phone, (Readers of 21st century, did I z-phone? Yes Z-phone by Mango computers, it is supposed to be most advanced version of your exhibition piece I-phone of apple computers. Mango computers had taken over apple), I had one light weight Kernmantle climbing rope, I had one pair of all-surface gripper for hands and one pair for legs, I had around 60 food capsules of all types of cuisines (Mauritian, Indian, Chinese, Italian, French), I had 10 shots of pain killers, few other trekking and climbing equipments. I had to make optimum use of it.
I tried to make a call, but signal was not going through. I placed the Z-phone in the middle of pit, started the depthmeter software, infrared rays bounced around the walls, the reading started at 1000feet and gradually increased as and when the infra red waves started reflecting back to the device, the reading kept increasing 2000, 4000, 8000, 9000, 9500, 9555, 9558, and 9556 and stopped at 9556 feet. I had fallen 9556 feet. This meant considering I had food for 60 days, I had to climb around 160 feet everyday before I would run out of food.
I took one shot of pain killer, one food capsule and started to the climb, strapped the grippers to my hands and legs and started climbing, used the rope to protect me against the fall. The grippers were able to take my weight and were holding against the slippery walls of pit very nicely. Day 1, I climbed 300 feet. Day 2, I climbed 150 feet. I was taking rest in the small caves, ledges whichever was safe to sleep, every 200 feet I tried to make the call. While I was climbing thousands of thoughts went through my mind, why did I not listen to my mother and become a doctor? Why did I become a software engineer? Why did I ask for onsite? Why did not I listen to my father, mother and brother and stayed back? Why did I say I want to be part of migration project? What is Chellam doing? Will she wait for me? Seems like every wrong or right turn I made, every wrong or right decision I took in my life was responsible for me my current situation, as if this day was just waiting for me to happen since my birth. For the first time in my life tears started following down and fell into pit below.

[Readers of 21st century, for knowing how these questions are related to my current situation, we will have to go to the flash back.
Flash back 10 days back, Flashback date: 3rd Dec 3010
Location: Milkyway galaxy, solar system, Earth, Asia, India, Bangalore, Software city, Little India software]

I worked for Little India software company private limited. It is one of the most admired companies in the galaxy in last 1000 years. I was a developer working on one of the insurance applications, we insure friendaliens. Friendaliens are living beings from other planets. Human beings don’t need insurance anymore. We had become eternal. Someone developed a drug for eternal life. Drug research and development, was supposed to be secret project to prolong the life of one of the most important person, but somebody stole the formula and mass produced it, now the drug is available in every street and corner.
It was the day, when all of us were tensed, today our Verydeli managers was supposed to communicate PRR to us.

[Oh readers you don’t understand what is PRR? right, ok let me take a min to explain, it is supposed to be some 1000yr old tradition of comparing people to people working across solar systems, across continents, across countries, across projects, using thousand different parameters and somehow come-up with a magic number and slot people. Did you understand? No is it? Noooo is it? Forget it, does not matter, just assume it is an age old tradition and we are still following it. Nobody understands it anyway :)]

Well my verydeli manager called me to a dark room, and conveyed my PRR to be 10. Wow!!!!! I was very happy. 10, my god that is awesome, Did I get 10, that is unbelievable. This means I am eligible for onsite and can request for project change. I was so excited, readers you will soon know the reason of why I am so excited. PPR ranges from 1-40 and I got 10
I went to my verydeli manager and asked for onsite and project change. I was asked to travel to Moon immediately. Did he say Moon, did he say Moon. I was happiest man on the earth or should I say in entire galaxy. In Moon, our company operates a development center, which is known as Migration Factory, all migration in entire galaxy is done in this special place.

[Oh readers sorry! I did not explain what is meant by migration project right. Well, in 21st century you must have heard of a company called Microsoft right, well now it is called yoctosoft (it changed names through nano, pico, femto, atto, zepto in last 1000yrs). Well this company keeps changing their software versions and our clients around the galaxy feel the need to keep migrating to new versions and we are specialists in migrating, that is how we make money, it is that simple  well all credit to our ancestors..
I don’t know the entire history, but we do know for sure that first migration was supposed to have been done in a small island located in Indian Ocean. We now consider that team as gods of Migration. We have life size wax statues of all the team members who were involved in project in Madame Tussaud’s museum located in our development center in Moon. It is a museum, which every software engineer aspires to visit at least once in his lifetime. And also there is supposed this man, who is supposed to have managed maintenance of this project before and after migration, he is none other than my great great great grandfather, till today none of us can believe these guys actually did the first migration and this guy had actually managed the maintenance, only gods could have done it. They were our gods for us, every software engineer worshipped them :)]

Now coming back to my assignment, I was not excited because I am going to moon. I was not excited because I am going to Migration factory. I was excited because, I am going to meet Chellam, finally after long time.
Yes, Chellam my dream girl works there, now you know the reasons for my happiness. Now you know reasons for my over the world excitement.
Well, my mum, my dad, my brother none of them were happy. They did not want me to go, well tell me readers, which software engineer till date had realized not to go onsite, before actually going onsite and then cribbing right? We all realize only after going there right? So it was no different for me.

[Flashback date: 5th Dec 3010]
I booked my seat on the next available flight to Moon. Chandrayaan 3010 took off perfectly from Sriharikota. After 5 days of short flight, our flight landed on the moon.


[Flashback date: 11th Dec 3010]
First thing I did was, to go and visit Madame Tussauds wax museum, saluted the gods of migration and my great, great….great grandfather.
Next thing, Met Chellam, was I happy :) wow, she had one of the most beautiful eyes..
But but but she said she was going to India on 2 months vacation..:(
There goes my girl…I was disappointed, dejected….my face was an expression of sadness, unhappiness.
Sensing my change in expression, she asked whether I would go for movie and dinner date on the valentines’ day, 14th Feb 3011.She said, she would be back by then. It was new movie starring Rajnikanth

[Readers of 21st century, did I say rajnikanth? Yes I said rajnikanth. Is it him? Yes it is him? Remember I talked about top secret formula which got stolen, well yes it was project funded by consortium of all countries on earth. It had become an international issue to prolong life of Rajnikanth. A consortium was formed and secret project was launched code named THE BOSS. Rajnikanth was first person to have been injected with this life eternal formula, since then he has become immortal and acted in hits after hits. His movies are screened all over the galaxy. He was biggest star in the entire galaxy. The formula was supposed to have been destroyed after Rajnikanth’s was injected, but it got stolen. Fortunately, whoever stole it, was not able to reproduce to exactly the same effect, the mass produced eternal drug currently on sale is supposed to 10 times less powerful, but never the less , human beings have been using it and living longer.

[Flashback date: 12th Dec 3010]
Well with Chellam gone and nothing to do, I along with group of colleagues, decided on this trip to explore the crater.

[Today’s date: 13th Dec 3010]
Did I get out the pit? Was I able to call for help? Did I make it to movie date with Chellam for the Valentine’s Day; I have 60 days to get out? Did I see the Galaxy star rajnikanth’s movie with Chellam?

Short Story by Jayaprakash [JP]

My very very Busy Best Friend Priyadarshini

Once upon a time
Long long ago quite long ago

I had a best best friend
Priyadarshani was the name of my friend

But now-a-days she is always so busy
Even queen bee is shy of not being busy

Busy bee is busy collecting honey
Priyadarshani is busy making money

Busy bee is social worker
Priyadarshani is Infosys worker

Busy bee believes in no meetings but only work
Priyadarshani believes meetings are work

Busy bee always travels with her friends
Priyadarshani works and forgets her friends

Busy bee always reachable in her hive
Pryadarshani thinks there is no such thing as hive

Busy bee always returns to her hive, with honey, after the work
Priyadarshani never returns to her hive, collect only money, never ending work..

…..
So dear world
This is the story of my dear friend Priyadharshi

Life of an infoscion on Monday morning

Being an Infoscion is race against time
Getting up early Monday morning on time
Making even the most proud cock shy for not keeping time

Catching the early morning bus to avoid the traffic jam
No time even for early morning beard butter jam

Wearing Monday morning mandatory tie to work
Swiping the access card to get in all set to work

Opening the mail box hoping not many mails
Only to see never ending list of mails

Coming like a bullet from a machine gun
Making even the bravest soldier run

With calendar full of meetings for the day
Getting ready for another busy day
Preparing the list of tasks for the day
Making even the busy bee shy for having not so busy day
Starting work when it is almost end of the day
Only to see critical issue come up to be fixed today

Opening the source code to fix this issue
Only to see the sea of code hidden with full of issue

Being an Infoscion fix the issue in no time
Making customer satisfied for delivery on time.

Being an Infoscion is race against time
Ending your day submitting Dart on time

-By JP